Stan's Journal
by Brown Sugar1
Summary: Stan's journal where he keeps his thoughts on recent events.


Stan's Journal  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I really think that writing in a fucking journal is totally gay, but I've had a lot on my mind these days. The one thing that is always on my mind is Wendy Testaburger. God she's hot. I love seeing her long black hair, and her beautiful smile that makes my heart melt. Anyway, I've been really depressed ever since she dumped me for that dickhead Gregory. I hate him! I wish he would die! Wendy is way too good for him anyway. I really hope that this plan that Janae came up with helps me get Wendy back and Gregory out of the way for good. I would love for everything to work out just fine. The only problem is Janae keeps making me pretend like I'm trying to pursue Lexie because she says Wendy is jealous of her. I really hope that's not the case. If it is, then all hell will break loose, especially if this plot goes too far. That's all for now.  
  
Stan  
  
Stan puts his journal under his mattress and goes to sleep.  
  
The Next Morning  
  
School  
  
Cafeteria   
  
Stan is talking to the guys.  
  
Kyle: So are you doing anything after school?  
  
Stan: No, I'm just going to go home and study.  
  
Cartman: Aww you mean you're not going to help your butt buddy scrub toilets after school?  
  
Him and Kenny start laughing. Kyle kicks him.  
  
Cartman: Ow!  
  
Kenny: How much longer do you have to do that?  
  
Kyle: Just until the end of the school year. It couldn't come any sooner, I'm sick of this bullshit. I can stop doing this job here and at King Jimmy's Buffet.  
  
Cartman: Maybe you'll think about that next time you let some girl control what you do.  
  
Kyle kicks him again.  
  
Cartman: Ow! That hurt you goddamn Jew.  
  
Kenny: Speaking of girls, Stan who's that girl that's been calling for you a lot lately?  
  
Stan: What makes you think it's a girl?  
  
Kenny: Well I just assumed it was a girl because you seem to have been talking to her every night for the past few months.  
  
Kyle: Dude, you never told me about this.  
  
Stan: There's nothing to tell.  
  
Cartman: Aww did Stan get a new girlfriend and keep it from everyone so that Wendy wouldn't find out and kill him?  
  
Cartman laughs.  
  
Stan: Shut up fat ass! Besides even if I got a new girlfriend, why would Wendy care, she has Gregory remember?  
  
Cartman: But she would still kill you if you got another girlfriend. You see how she reacted when you showed up at her party with Lexie.  
  
Kyle and Kenny look at each other then at Stan.  
  
Kyle: Is that who's calling you?  
  
Stan: No. God if you guys must know it's my cousin from Denver. Sheesh!  
  
Kenny: Why didn't you just say so in the first place?  
  
Stan: Because I didn't think you guys would make such a big deal about it.   
  
Later   
  
Recess  
  
Stan is on the swings.  
  
Voice: Psst!   
  
Stan looks around. He shrugs.  
  
Voice: PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!  
  
Stan looks again and notices Janae hiding in the bushes. She signals for him to come over. He secretly sneaks over behind the bushes.  
  
Stan: What's up?  
  
Janae: What are you doing?  
  
Stan: I was swinging.  
  
Janae: Shouldn't you be trying to make your move on Lexie?  
  
Stan: I don't know where she is.  
  
Janae: Well, FIND HER!  
  
Stan: Shh!  
  
Janae: And make sure Wendy is around when you do.  
  
Stan: I know.  
  
Janae: Well go.  
  
Stan: Ok, but before I go I need to ask you something.  
  
Janae: What is it?  
  
Stan: Can you try not to call me so much? The guys were giving me a hard time earlier about some girl who always calls me.  
  
Janae: (shakes her head) Stan, Stan, Stan. No wonder Wendy doesn't want. You worry about what your friends think too much.  
  
Stan: Don't go there with me Janae.  
  
Janae: Whatever just do what I told you. (She holds up a document) Remember you signed the contract.  
  
  
  
Stan: Don't remind me.  
  
He walks off.  
  
Stan: Where could she be?  
  
As he's walking, he's not paying attention to where he's going and bumps right into Wendy.  
  
Wendy: God Stan, can you look where you're going?  
  
Stan: It was an accident, you don't have to be so nasty about it.  
  
Wendy: Just like you didn't have to bring Lexie to my birthday party that you WEREN'T invited to in the first place.  
  
Stan: I'm sorry about that.  
  
Wendy: Then you got me that gerbil which caused me to break out the next day.  
  
Stan: I didn't know.  
  
Wendy: Well Stan I used to be your girlfriend so you should know these things.  
  
Stan: Did you know that I suffer from asthma?  
  
Wendy: We're not talking about you Stan.  
  
Stan: I better go.  
  
Wendy: What's your hurry?  
  
Stan: I'm looking for someone. Besides, if Gregory sees me he'll try to kick my ass again.  
  
Wendy: Gregory isn't like that.   
  
Stan: Either way, I should go. But before I go, I just hope that soon you'll be able to forgive me for everything that has made you hate me.  
  
Wendy: We'll see.  
  
Stan walks off smiling.  
  
Stan: (Thinking) She said we'll see.  
  
He so happy that Lexie ends up walking past him and he doesn't notice.  
  
Stan: Wasn't I supposed to be doing something? (He thinks for a minute then shrugs) Oh well it probably wasn't important. (He smiles again) She said we'll see. I have a chance after all.  
  
Later that night  
  
Stan is writing in his journal.   
  
Dear Journal,  
  
Oh my God dude, I'm so excited! I think I actually have a chance with Wendy. I asked her would she ever be able to forgive me and she said, "We'll see". This rocks! Maybe now I don't have to use Lexie to make Wendy jealous. I'm sure that-  
  
He's interrupted by Shelly who barges into his room. He quickly hides his journal under his pillow.  
  
Shelly: Hey turd you have a phone call.  
  
Stan: Don't you know how to knock?  
  
Shelly walks over to him and punches him.  
  
Stan: Ow dude!  
  
Shelly: Don't ever talk to me like that again. (She notices that Stan's hiding something). What are you hiding?  
  
Stan: What makes you think I'm hiding something?  
  
Shelly grabs his pillow and sees his journal.  
  
Shelly: What's this?   
  
She picks it up.  
  
Stan: Give it back.  
  
He tries to get it, but Shelly holds it up high so Stan can't reach it.   
  
Shelly: So you keep a journal huh?  
  
Stan: Please don't tell anyone.  
  
Shelly: I wonder just what my brother would have to write in a journal.  
  
Stan: It's my business, so give back to me.  
  
Shelly: Sure I'll give it back, as soon as I make enough copies of it to hand out to all of your little friends.  
  
Kevin comes in Stan's room.  
  
Kevin: Shelly come on, Billy and Chloe are waiting.  
  
Shelly: Oh yeah. (To Stan) You lucked out this time turd.  
  
She hands him his journal and leaves. Stan shuts his door and locks it.  
  
Stan: (thinking) Now where was I?  
  
He continues writing.  
  
Wendy and I will be back together pretty soon and I won't have to go through with Janae's stupid little plan.  
  
Sharon: (O.S.) Stanley, it's time for bed!  
  
Stan: Ok mom!  
  
Well that's all for now. It's my bedtime.  
  
Stan  
  
He puts his journal under his mattress. He hears a knock on his door.  
  
Stan: I'm going to bed mom.  
  
Kenny: Stan it's me.  
  
He unlocks the door.  
  
Stan: Sorry about that, I was trying to keep Shelly out.  
  
Kenny: It's ok.   
  
They go to sleep.  
  
The Next Day  
  
School  
  
Lunchtime   
  
Janae has Stan cornered.  
  
Janae: What were you supposed to do yesterday?  
  
Stan: I forgot.  
  
Janae: Don't make it a habit.  
  
Stan: I was talking to Wendy and it just happened to slip my mind.  
  
Janae: Then you let Lexie walk right past you and you didn't even make a move on her.  
  
Stan: Are you sure that I have to go after Lexie? I mean if Token knew what we were up to he'd kill me.  
  
Janae: It has to be Lexie.  
  
Stan: Why can't it be you or Bebe?  
  
Janae: Because we're supposed to be her best friends, we can't betray her like that.  
  
Stan: What about the red headed girl?  
  
Janae: Are you kidding? That would have no effect on Wendy at all. Besides that girl doesn't even have a real name.  
  
Stan: Well there has to be some other girl. I know Rebecca?  
  
Janae: Rebecca is slut, so she would be expected to flirt with you. Therefore, it must be Lexie.  
  
Stan: But Lexie is so nice and innocent.  
  
Janae: All the more reason why it has to be her.  
  
Stan: (sigh) Ok.  
  
Janae: Now don't make another mistake. Remember, you signed the contract.  
  
Stan: Don't remind me.  
  
She notices Kyle coming.  
  
Janae: I better go. Remember what I said.  
  
Stan: I know.  
  
She leaves. Kyle walks over to Stan.  
  
Kyle: Were you just talking to Janae?  
  
Stan: What if I was?  
  
Kyle: Stan, that girl is crazy keep away from her.  
  
Stan: Look, just because you're stuck cleaning toilets with her doesn't mean that she's crazy. She's actually rather nice.  
  
Kyle: Nice in what way?  
  
Stan: She just is.  
  
Kyle: I'm warning you Stan. Stay away from Janae Taylor.  
  
Stan: Dude we were just having a friendly chat.  
  
Kyle: Whatever. Just watch your back around that girl.  
  
Kyle walks off.  
  
Stan: (thinking) He just doesn't understand, Janae is doing me a HUGE favor. He'll see she's not so bad.  
  
Janae walks back over to Stan.  
  
Janae: You really should tell your friend to get off my back.  
  
Stan: Well he doesn't trust you.  
  
Janae: Either way, he needs to get over it.  
  
Stan: So what brings you back around?  
  
Janae: Oh yeah, I saw Lexie and she was alone.  
  
Stan: So?  
  
Janae: So, it's time to make your move.  
  
Stan: But shouldn't Wendy be around?  
  
Janae: Don't worry about that. Just go find Lexie, she's around the corner.  
  
Stan: Ok.  
  
He leaves.  
  
Janae: (thinking) And I'll go find Wendy.  
  
Stan sees Lexie walking reading a book. He purposely bumps into her knocking her down.   
  
Stan: Oops sorry about that Lexie.  
  
Lexie: It's ok.  
  
Stan: No it's not ok I should look where I'm going next time.  
  
Lexie: No I shouldn't be walking while I'm reading.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Other side of the hallway  
  
Janae runs into Wendy.  
  
Wendy: Hey Janae, would you like to eat lunch with me?  
  
Janae: You actually want me around?  
  
Wendy: Yeah, we need to get rid of this tension between us. So what do you say?  
  
Janae: (thinking) This is perfect! (Out loud) Sure, but I need to get something out of the classroom first.  
  
Wendy: Ok, I'll come with you.  
  
They walk off.  
  
Back to Stan and Lexie  
  
Stan: So what are you reading?  
  
Lexie: Chemistry For Dummies.  
  
Stan: Isn't that a little advanced for a 9 year old?  
  
Lexie: Yeah, but I want to be a pharmacist when I'm older, so I figured I might as well get prepared while I'm young.  
  
Stan: Well I love a girl who knows what she wants to do with herself.  
  
Lexie blushes.  
  
Lexie: Umm...thanks.  
  
Stan: You really are a smart girl.  
  
Lexie: You think so?  
  
Stan: Yeah I mean you get A's on everything. It's amazing.  
  
Lexie: I better go.  
  
Stan: Wait don't go. There's something I want to do.  
  
Lexie: What?  
  
Stan kisses Lexie on the lips. Just then Wendy and Janae walk by.  
  
Wendy: What the hell is THIS?  
  
Janae pulls Wendy behind a wall. They watch Stan and Lexie.  
  
Wendy: Why is Stan kissing your cousin?  
  
Janae: I have no idea. I knew she would try to hurt Token.  
  
Wendy: What a slut! I can't believe Stan isn't throwing up on her. Every time I tried to touch him he puked all over me.  
  
Janae: I never thought Lexie was that type.  
  
Wendy: I should kick her ass!  
  
Janae: I should too, for doing this to my friend Token.  
  
Wendy: I say we get her now.  
  
Janae: No that's pretty cheap for both of us to attack her at the same time.  
  
Wendy: Well it's pretty cheap of her to kiss another guy while she's with Token.  
  
Janae: Yeah.  
  
Wendy: I'm going to kick her ass! Let's get away from here before I do it now.  
  
Janae: (smiling) Ok. (Thinking) This is going great!  
  
They walk off. Just then Stan and Lexie break apart.  
  
Stan: (thinking) What was I thinking? (Out loud) Oh my god, I'm so sorry Lexie. I don't know what I was thinking.  
  
Lexie: It's ok. I think I really should go now.  
  
Stan: Please try not to be too mad.  
  
Lexie: I'm not mad. See you later.  
  
She runs off.  
  
Later that night  
  
Stan's house  
  
Stan is in his room writing in his journal.  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
DUDE! I kissed Lexie today. I can't believe I kissed her. I didn't even throw up on her. I hate to admit it, but I actually liked the kiss. I mean who would've ever thought that sweet innocent Lexie knew how to kiss. But then again she does have a boyfriend. I hope he doesn't find out about this. However, I do hope that Janae found some way to make Wendy find out about it. Well I guess I'll just have to wait to find out what's going to happen next.  
  
Stan  
  
THE END 


End file.
